Science class. Seventh grade. The teacher handed out a piece of paper and said it was a test. He told us to read through the instructions. It's a test that I still remember to this day. Why? Because I failed it. Recently, to my surprise, I stumbled upon a picture of that test on the Internet:
It was my science teacher's way of showing us how to follow directions and pay attention to detail. It worked. Failure is a great teacher.
Have you taken this test? It will help you understand your conflict style. From the site:
"Behavior is a function of personality traits and situational forces. Although personality traits are rather enduring properties of people and thus can’t be changed in the short run (for example, your psychological type, as measured by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), the TKI measures how you typically behave in conflict situations, not your enduring personality traits. Although your behavior may be habitual (automatically choosing to behave in a certain way, regardless of the situation), your behavior can also become very conscious and deliberate (carefully analyzing the situation beforehand, considering a range of behavioral options, and then matching your behavior to the situation)."
I'll admit it, when I first started as an entrepreneur I didn't give leadership much thought, much less what style I used. But I am a wiser woman today. Unsure of your leadership style? I took an interesting quiz (no longer online) by Entrepreneur.com. My results?
Your Score Is... 152 Your leadership type is: The Enlightened Warrior (Score: 123-200) Whether they've worked hard to develop their leadership qualities or they're one of the lucky ones to be born that way, Enlightened Warriors have what it takes to lead a team towards success. People who fall into this category possess excellent people skills and a knack for inspiring both enthusiasm and loyalty from others.
With their strong drive to succeed and their eyes constantly on the horizon, Enlightened Warriors are always on top of the latest business trends, ready to seize upon good opportunities. Individuals with this leadership type don't wait for things to happen - they make them happen. Always willing to go out on a limb when necessary, they can easily adapt to the often unpredictable changes in the business world.
Enlightened Warriors take their responsibility as leader very seriously and do their best to set an example for those that follow them. They command respect from others by offering the same degree of respect in return.
Research by Dr. Kristin Neff shows that self-compassion is a better measure of success than self-esteem. While it may go against our instinct, taking it easy on ourselves leads to better outcomes. Are you self-compassionate?
Dr. Neff has devised a test to help you determine the answer.
Social scientists devised a way to determine if bosses are empathetic. You can use it, too. Here's how you do it: Ask your boss (or anybody really) to use her forefinger to draw an E on her forehead. Give it a try yourself now.
Done? The way a person draws the E - either facing herself or another, tells you all you need to know about the perspective taking of the finger's owner. If the E faces out so another can read it as an E, the finger owner is taking the perspective of another and therefore demonstrating more empathy.
To understand why empathy counts in leadership, read Daniel Pink's take here.
My FastCompany readers help me grow! I wrote an article on flirting that took the site by storm. But that article was only half the story (I'm limited to about 400 words sadly). The other half is how women can navigate the realities of the workplace and that's all about mindset. Do you have a fixed or growth mindset? Click here to find out.