single

The Beach

The beach is always there: you just have to conceive of it. It follows that those who fail to find their beach are, in the final analysis, mentally fragile; in Manhattan terms, simply weak. Jack Donaghy’s verbal swordplay with Liz Lemon was a comic rendering of the various things many citizens of Manhattan have come to regard as fatal weakness: childlessness, obesity, poverty. To find your beach you have to be ruthless. Manhattan is for the hard-bodied, the hard-minded, the multitasker, the alpha mamas and papas. A perfect place for self-empowerment—as long as you’re pretty empowered to begin with. As long as you’re one of these people who simply do not allow anything—not even reality—to impinge upon that clear field of blue.  

~Zadie Smith

Dating Sites

Online dating is not fun or particularly effective. When Match.com commercials come on and the announcer says, "1 out of 5 people meet online," my instantaneous reaction is, "That's only 20%!"  

Still, that isn't stopping folks from iterating on the model. Here is a list of the 2012 entrants.

Require Facebook:

1. Yoke.me

2. Skout

3. TheCompleteMe

4. CoffeeMeetsBagel (the twist here is only one match per day; playing the limited time/limited quantity e-commerce angle)

5. MyMatchmaker (here actual matchmakers do the matching)

 

Web Apps:

6. How About We (still a traditional online dating site with profile but concept is to propose dates)

7. FriendlyLook

 

Different Approaches:

8. Hitch.me (this uses your LinkedIn account)

9. Tawkify (dating via the phone with screening of matches by real people)

 

Offline:

10. MeSoFar (based in Chicago; dating by PowerPoint presentation - essentially flirting reduced quite literally to marketing)

11. Urban Girl Squad's Friend of a Friend Singles Party (based in NYC; modeled after Charlotte's "pass the trash" party)

 

Mobile:

12. Grindr/Blendr

13. SinglesAroundMe

 

There are, of course, a ton of dating sites out there, but these seem to be the new ones garnering buzz.

Happy dating!

Single in San Francisco

I definitely related to this good (albeit lengthy) article in The Atlantic. It is a special experience being single past the age of 35, but it doesn't have to be hell. There's a lot packed in the article (lots of academic theories on whether or not the marital landscape is shifting) so I'll highlight what resonated for me:

"I definitely noticed an increase in my own contentment when I began to develop and pay more attention to friendships with women who, like me, have never been married. Their worldviews feel relaxingly familiar, and give me the space to sort through my own ambivalence. That’s an abstract benefit. More concretely, there’s what my brother terms our 'immigrant bucket brigade'—my peer group’s habit of jumping to the ready to help each other with matters practical and emotional. This isn’t to say that my married friends aren’t as supportive—some of my best friends are married!—it’s just that, with families of their own, they can’t be as available."

Happy Singles Week

It’s National Single and Unmarried Americans Week. A recent NYTimes article points out just how much single people are being shafted by American society. But the eye opener was this:

“It’s the unmarried, with or without kids, who are more likely to take care of other people,” Dr. Gerstel said. “It’s not having children that isolates people. It’s marriage.”

Interesante.