questions

Unsolved

I have been trying to solve a problem. The problem. Myself. But I was reminded today by Rilke that patience pays:

Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms, or books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

 

Love

There are questions: 36 Questions that lead to love

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “ Continue reading the main story Continue reading the main story Continue reading the main story

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen."

Questions

The Proust Questionnaire originally didn’t belong to him but is based on the answers that French writer Marcel Proust famously gave to an English book he encountered through a friend called, An Album to Record Thoughts, Feelings, etc. Since taken up by Marcel it has been used in various forms by many, including James Lipton of Inside the Actors Studio and you can see another version of it on the last page of Vanity Fair each month. There are two versions of the questionnaire. I list one below. How would you answer it? Your favorite virtue Your favorite qualities in a man Your favorite qualities in a woman Your chief characteristic What you appreciate the most in your friends Your main fault Your favourite occupation Your idea of happiness Your idea of misery If not yourself, who would you be? Where would you like to live? Your favourite colour, flower and bird Your favorite prose authors Your favorite poets Your favorite heroes in fiction Your favorite heroines in fiction Your favorite painters and composers Your heroes in real life Your favorite heroines in real life What characters in history do you most dislike Your heroines in World history Your favorite food and drink Your favorite names What I hate the most World history characters I hate the most The military event I admire the most The reform I admire the most The natural talent I'd like to be gifted with How I wish to die What is your present state of mind? For what fault have you most toleration? Your favorite motto

My answers are here.