doubt

When in Doubt

I was reading about how a challenging past can lead to a happier present when I stumbled upon this nugget:

"the signs of unresolved trauma—withdrawal and isolation, feeling overwhelmed in the face of life’s ordinary ups and downs, not being able to move forward with one’s life and progress toward achieving one’s goals—and take appropriate steps to bring unprocessed trauma to resolution."

I've definitely been there before and I know I'll be there again. I dig myself out with help and by facing the emotions I don't want to face.

And I find that the article is true. I've definitely faced some adversity and find I treasure the little things in my life.  Like my shower's water pressure.  Every day I get in and think, "I love this shower."

Cheesy, I know. But true.

My Own Worst Enemy

I realized today that I've had a helicopter parent and it's me. Well, a part of me. I've discovered that because a lot of things came easily to me as a child, I developed the idea that if something was difficult I shouldn't do it. As a result, my emotional strength in certain arenas was never really tested. Or certainly not like it's being tested now. Currently, I'm failing on lots of fronts and I'm starting to see how I've protected myself from failure in the past - either by using fear to keep me from even trying something or out right avoidance.

As I learn to walk through the valley of disappointments my anxiety is high, but my resolve is strong. I will get through this.

Besides, you can only build a muscle by tearing it a little, letting it repair and tearing it again.