Have you ever made a mistake you couldn't reverse or repair or do anything about? They, seem to me, the worst kinds of mistakes. I made a mistake recently that I realize I cannot undo. I wince when I think of it.
I keep touching it with my thoughts, like a hot stove that I think has cooled, but hasn't.
I don't know what to do with my hands. I don't know what to do with my thoughts.
How long until I'm released from this purgatory of regret?
The issue when you make a mistake with a person is that you are mistaken. Mistaken for something you did that was wrong. And all I can think is that my mistake marks me.
But that, too is a mistake - to beat myself up. It only makes it likely I'll feel depressed and make the same mistake again.
The solution? Compassion. I'm human therefore I make mistakes. I make mistakes therefore I'm human. It's okay to feel awful. I can handle it. And I can do better.