I was honored to be asked to speak at the Women Rock Conference put on by the Fearless Women Network.

I’m not a fearless woman, but I regularly challenge my fears. Entrepreneurship taught me how. So I was happy to get a chance to share what I’ve learned: you can’t lead effectively unless you’re self-aware and self-awareness requires facing your feelings.

Here’s an excerpt from my talk:

There’s an old saying: if you encounter three jerks in one day, you’re the jerk. Yes, often we are the source of our own problems. I never quite grasped this until I became an entrepreneur.

There is no training when you become an entrepreneur. One day you were an employee and the next you’re the boss. And unfortunately, the title doesn’t change who you are.

The big difference though is that now the spotlight is on you. Every quirk, insecurity, mood, facial expression, style, choice, becomes the focus of a group of people. All eyes are on you. All the time.

The best analogy really is it’s a lot like being a parent. Your baby or toddler absorbs everything you do, looks to you for guidance and tests the heck out of you. And that’s exactly what employees do.

Which is all to say, as the leader, who you are has an effect on others. So if you want your employees, children or even your environment to reflect the best of you, you need to become self-aware.

Illustration by Mudtowncomics.com

What is self-awareness? Daniel Goleman, author of the books Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence defines self-awareness as the ability to identify, express and manage your emotions. Which seems easy enough, except it isn’t.

There’s more to the speech! For that, you’ll just have to come hear me talk at my next speaking gig.

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